Curriculum vitae Charles Kemp

ALL of this is out of date, because I’m out of date… retired… hanging out in NorCal. But it’s nice to look back. My greatest (non-personal) accomplishments were the changes I helped make in people’s lives. Of course Leslie was my guide and inspiration in this.  

Charles Kemp, RN, FNP, FAAN
FNP-C, Baylor University
CRNH, Certification in Hospice & Palliative Nursing (expired 2002)
M.S.N., University of Texas at Austin
B.S.N., Baylor University (magna cum laude)
Employment & Related
Senior lecturer and clinical instructor, Louise Herrington School of Nursing, Baylor University. Classroom and clinical courses include community health, physical assessment, psychiatric nursing, hospice care, communications, nursing fundamentals, and RN bridge course. Also see Community Development and Scholarship sections. 1989-present (senior lecturer May 2000). Retired.
 
Family nurse practitioner (volunteer), Agape Clinic. Provide primary health care for underserved patients in inner-city setting and coordinate clinic services. 2000-present. Retired.
Development Consultant, self-employed. Services included agency and board development, planning, research, grant-writing, education, related activities. $1,000,000+ in grants awarded in twelve months. 1988-89.
 
Lecturer and Clinical Instructor, Texas Woman’s University. Courses included community health, psychiatric nursing, hospice care, nursing fundamentals. 198l-88.

Volunteer in various roles with hospice patients, refugees and immigrants, children who were abused, and other people and situations. 1978-2016.
 
Hospice Director (founding); Clinical Specialist, Visiting Nurse Association of Dallas. Responsibilities included carrying out the base community assessment; planning all administrative, clinical, and educational aspects of the hospice program; implementing the program; and evaluating the program. Also provided patient care and community education. Please see grants section of c.v. 1978-81.
 
Supervisor, V.N.A. Responsibilities included clinical and administrative supervision of professional staff. 1976.
 
Staff Nurse, V.N.A. Responsibilities included patient assessments and care; clinical supervision of non-professional staff. 1975-76.
 
Other employment: While employed at T.W.U., worked during summers as Director of the Dallas-Fort Worth Refugee Interagency (twice), and as Hospice Staff Nurse.
Scholarly Activities
Books
(2006) with T.S. Kwan-Gett & C. Kovarik. Infectious and Tropical Diseases: A Handbook for Primary Care. Philadelphia: Elsevier Science. Available at Amazon, B&N, & Elsevier.
 
(2004) with L. Rasbridge. Refugee and Immigrant Health. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Amazon, B&N, & Cambridge.
 
(1999). Terminal Illness: A Guide to Nursing Care (2nd ed.). Philadelphia: Lippincott-Williams & Wilkins.
 
(1999) with L. Rasbridge. Refugee and Immigrant Health (A manual). Austin: Texas Department of Health.
 
(1995). Terminal Illness: A Guide to Nursing Care. Philadelphia: J.B. Lippincott.
Web Sites (all Baylor and Agape sites down)
(2007). with J. Dailey & J. Smith. Burma Refugees. Available http://agapeclinic.googlepages.com/burma_refugees
 
(2001-2005). Agape Clinic/Baylor Community Care. Available online: http://www3.baylor.edu/~Charles_Kemp/agape.htm
 
(2000-2005). Terminal Illness: A Guide for Patients and Families. Available online: http://www.baylor.edu/~Charles_Kemp/terminal_illness/Terminal_Illness.htm (Sponsor: Louise Herrington School of Nursing at Baylor University)
 
(2000-2004). Infectious Diseases of Refugees and Immigrants. Available online: http://www.baylor.edu/~Charles_Kemp/Infectious_Disease.htm (Sponsor: Texas Department of Health)
 
(1999-2005). with L. Rasbridge. Refugee Health. Available online http://www.baylor.edu/~Charles_Kemp/refugee_health.htm (Sponsor: Texas Department of Health)
 
(1998-2001). with L. Rasbridge. Asian Health. Available online http://www.baylor.edu/~Charles_Kemp/asian_health.html (Sponsor: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of Minority Health)
Book Chapters
(in press). Promoting healthy partnerships with refugees and immigrants. In E.T. Anderson and J. MacFarlane (Eds.), Community as Partner (5th ed.). Philadelphia: Lippincott, Williams & Wilkins. Revised from previous editions in 2004, 2000, & 1996.
 
(2007). Culture and spiritual care at the end-of-life. In K. Kuebler (Ed.), Palliative and End-of-Life Care Textbook for Advanced Practice Nurses (2nd ed.). Philadelphia: Elsevier.
 
(2006) Spiritual care in terminal illness. In B. Ferrell and N. Coyle (Eds.) Oxford Textbook of Palliative Nursing (2nd ed., pp. 595-604). New York: Oxford University Press.
 
(2006). Anorexia and cachexia. In B. Ferrell and N. Coyle (Eds.) Oxford Textbook of Palliative Nursing (2nd ed., pp. 169-176). New York: Oxford University Press.
 
(2004). Six stories in S. Hudacek (Ed.), Making a difference: Stories from the Point of Care, Vol II. Indianapolis: Signma Theta Tau.
 
(2004). Promoting healthy partnerships with refugees and immigrants. In E.T. Anderson and J. MacFarlane (Eds.), Community as Partner (4th ed.). Philadelphia: Lippincott, Williams & Wilkins. Revised from previous editions in 2000 & 1996.
 
(2004). Grief and loss. In K.M. Fortinash & P.A. Holoday-Worret (Eds.), Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing (4th ed.). St. Louis: Mosby. Revised from 1-2 editions in 2000 & 1996.
 
(2001) Spiritual care in terminal illness. In B. Ferrell and N. Coyle (Eds.) Oxford Textbook of Palliative Nursing. New York: Oxford University Press.
 
(2001) Cachexia and anorexia. In B. Ferrell and N. Coyle (Eds.) Oxford Textbook of Palliative Nursing. New York: Oxford University Press.
 
(2000) Refugee and immigrant health in community nursing. In E.T. Anderson and J. MacFarlane (Eds.), Community as Partner (2nd edition). Philadelphia: Lippincott, Williams & Wilkins.
 
(1997) with G. Davis and P. Thai. The Baylor Community Care Program. In S.D. Seifer and K.M. Connors (Eds.), A Guide for Developing Community-Responsive Models in Health Professions Education. San Francisco: Community-Campus Partnerships for Health.
(1996) with G. Mallon-Frank. Grief. In K. Fortinash and P. Holoday-Worret (Eds.), Psychiatric-Mental Health Nursing. St. Louis, MO: C.V. Mosby.
 
(1996) Refugee health and community nursing. In E.T. Anderson and J. MacFarlane (Eds.),Community as Partner. Philadelphia: J.B. Lippincott.
 
(1986) Cambodian refugee health project. In Community Based Nursing Services: Innovative Models (pp. 12-16). Kansas City, MO: American Nurses Association.
Articles
(2005). Living as a refugee. Health Messenger, 28, 2-11 (extracted from the mental health chapter in Refugee & Immigrant Health). I am proud that this work was selected by the editorial committee of Health Messenger and the Mae Sot Clinic, which serves Burmese refugees on the Thai-Burma border. The article is in Burmese and English.
 
(2005). Cultural issues in palliative care. Seminars in Oncology Nursing, 21, 44-52.
 
(2003). Community health nursing: Where we are going and how to get there. Nursing Education Perspective, 24, 144-150.
 
(2002). with S. Bhungalia. Culture and the end of life: Major world religions. Journal of Hospice and Palliative Nursing, 4(4).
 
(2002). with B-J Chang. Culture and the end of life: Chinese. Journal of Hospice and Palliative Nursing, 4(3), 174-180.
 
(2002). with A. Roberts. Infectious diseases of refugees and immigrants: Hookworm. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 14(5), 194.
 
(2002). with D. Henry. Culture and the end of life: Nigerians. Journal of Hospice and Palliative Nursing, 4(2), 111-115.
 
(2002) with A. Roberts. Infectious diseases of refugees and immigrants: Viral hemorrhagic fevers. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 14(4), 146-149.
 
(2002). with S. Bhungalia. Culture and the end of life: (Asian) Indian health beliefs and practices related to the end of life. Journal of Hospice and Palliative Nursing, 4(1), 54-58.
 
(2001). with L. Rasbridge. Culture and the end of life: East African cultures-Part II, Sudan.Journal of Hospice and Palliative Nursing, 3(4), 110-112.
 
(2001) with A. Roberts. Infectious diseases of refugees and immigrants: Giardiasis. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 13(12), 532-533.
 
(2001). with L. Rasbridge. Culture and the end of life: East African cultures-Part I, Somalia.Journal of Hospice and Palliative Nursing, 3(3), 59-61.
 
(2001). Bioterrorism: Introduction and major agents. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 13(11), 483-491.
 
(2001) with A. Roberts. Infectious diseases of refugees and immigrants: Filariasis. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 13(9), 391-394.
 
(2001) with A. Roberts. Infectious diseases of refugees and immigrants: Echinococcosis (hydatid disease). Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 13(8), 346-347.
 
(2001). with L. Rasbridge. Culture and the end of life: East African cultures-Part I, Sudan.Journal of Hospice and Palliative Nursing, 3(3), 110-112.
 
(2001) with A. Roberts. Infectious diseases of refugees and immigrants: Ebola and Marburg hemorrhagic fevers. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 13(7), 291-292.
 
(2001) with A. Roberts. Infectious diseases of refugees and immigrants: Dengue fever. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 13(6), 243-245.
 
(2001) with A. Roberts. Infectious diseases of refugees and immigrants: Chagas’ disease.Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 13(4), 152-153.
 
(2001) with A. Roberts. Infectious diseases of refugees and immigrants: Brucellosis. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 13(3), 106-107.
 
(2001). with L. Rasbridge. Culture and the end of life: East African cultures-Part I, Somali.Journal of Hospice and Palliative Nursing, 3(2), 59-61.
 
(2001) with A. Roberts. Infectious diseases of refugees and immigrants: Ascaraisis. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 13(2), 55-56.
 
(2001) with A. Roberts. Infectious diseases of refugees and immigrants: Amebiasis. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 13(1), 8-9.
 
(2001) with A. Roberts. Infectious diseases of refugees and immigrants: Introduction. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 13(1), 7-8.
 
(2001). Culture and the end of life: Hispanic cultures (Mexican-Americans). Journal of Hospice and Palliative Nursing, 3(1), 29-33.
 
(2000) with L. Keovilay & L. Rasbridge. Culture and the end of life: Cambodians and Laotians – Health beliefs and practices related to the end of life. Journal of Hospice and Palliative Nursing, 2(4), 143-151.
 
(2000) with A. Dinh & L. Rasbridge. Culture and the end of life: Introduction (to a series) and Vietnamese health beliefs and practices related to the end of life. Journal of Hospice and Palliative Nursing, 2(3), 109-117.
 
(1999). Metastatic spread and common symptoms: Pancreatic, prostate, stomach, and uterine cancers. American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care, 16(5), 664-672.
 
(1999). Metastatic spread and common symptoms: Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, oral cavity, and ovarian cancers. American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care, 16(4), 607-615.
 
(1999). Metastatic spread and common symptoms: Lung cancer, melanoma, and multiple myeloma. American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care, 16(3), 533-540.
 
(1999). Metastatic spread and common symptoms: Renal cancer, leukemia, and hepatic cancer.American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care, 16(2), 479-486.
 
(1999). Metastatic spread and common symptoms: Breast cancer, colorectal cancer, and esophageal cancer. American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care, 16(1), 403-411.
 
(1999). Nguyen v. The State. The Forensic Echo, III(4), 2-3.
(1998) with L. Keovilay. Laotian health care beliefs and practices. Lao Vision, 2(1), 24-26.
 
(1998). Metastatic spread and common symptoms: Introduction, bladder cancer, and brain cancer. American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care, 15(6), 355-360.
 
(1997). Palliative care for respiratory problems in terminal illness. American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care, 14(1), 26-30.
 
(1996) with S. Bailey, P. Bennett, J. Hicks, and S.H. Warren. Cancer detection activities coordinated by nursing students in community health. Cancer Nursing, 19(5), 348-352.
 
(1996). Managing chronic pain in patients with advanced disease and substance-related disorders. Home Healthcare Nurse, 14(4), 255-263.
 
(1996) Islamic cultures: Health care beliefs and practices. American Journal of Health Behavior,20(3), 19-25.
 
(1995) with L. Stepp. Palliative care for patients with acquired immunodeficiency disorder.American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care, November/December, 14-29.
 
(1994). Spiritual care in terminal illness: Practical applications. American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care, September/October, 31-36.
 
(1994) Community health clinical experiences: The primary care setting. Public Health Nursing, 11(1), 2-6.
 
(1994) with M. McEwen. Teaching strategies for operationalizing nursing’s agenda for health care reform. Nurse Educator, 19(1), 10-13.
 
(1993) with R. Bowie, G.K. Cooper, and J. Lothrop. Preparing for death: A Christian guide for individuals and families. Dallas: First Presbyterian Church.
 
(1993). Health services for refugees in countries of second asylum. International Nursing Review, 40(1), 21-24.
 
(1991). Writing successful grant proposals for services to clients. Nurse Practitioner, 16(11), 51-56.
 
(1987) with J.N. Walterspiel and J.R. Rogers. Coin rubbing and acute phase reactants. (letter)Australian Pediatric Journal, 23(12), 309-310.
 
(1987) with P. Drapo and C. Patrick. Addressing the needs of underserved populations. Public Health Nursing, 4(4). 231-236.
 
(1987). Basic counseling skills: the refugee client. Summary of Proceedings from the Conference on Refugees and Mental Health. Texas Department of Mental Health and Mental Retardation, Austin, Texas.
 
(1985). Cambodian refugee health care beliefs and practices. Journal of Community Health Nursing, 2(1), 41-52.
 
(1978). The dying process. Proceedings of the Sixth Annual Nursing Research Forum. Dallas: A. Webb Roberts Center.
 
Papers (not including talks at various universities, hospitals, etc., e.g., UT Austin, UTSW Medical School, Baylor, NTSU, UT Arlington, TWU, BUMC, Parkland, Children’s, etc., etc.)
(2007) with M. Abbe, N. Avila, J. Pham. Including immigrants, minorities, and refugees: Lessons learned from the Agape Clinic (invited paper). YMCA Expo 2007: Engaging Newcomers (national conference). Dallas, Texas.
(2006) with L. Spies. Emerging infectious diseases. American Academy of Nurse Practitioners National Conference, Grapevine, Texas.
 
(2006) with C. Kovarik. Agape: The development and sustenance of an inner-city mission clinic. American Academy of Nurse Practitioners National Conference, Grapevine, Texas.
 
(2006) with M.A. Faucher. Beyond Sick Care: Strategies for Health Care in Primary Care for Immigrants & Refugees. National Primary Care for the Underserved Conference, Philadelphia.
 
(2006). Infectious diseases in patients from Latin America. National Primary Care for the Underserved Conference, Philadelphia.
 
(2006). Refugee and immigrant health: Current issues. Resettlement Conference. Phoenix.
(2004). Culture & the End-of Life: Selected Issues. Web presentation. Hospice & Palliative Nurses Association.
 
(2003). Community Health Nursing Education: Leadership and Development Roles. American Public Health Association Annual Meeting, San Francisco.
 
(2001) with A. Pappas. CHN Education: A Path to the Future (Operationalizing AACN’s Position Statement on Nursing Education). American Association of Colleges of Nursing Baccalaureate Education 2001 Conference, Washington, DC.
 
(2000) with D. Gurica. District health: A model for community health service and education. American Public Health Association Annual Meeting, Boston.
 
(2000). Infectious diseases of refugees and immigrants. Texas Department of Health Refugee Health Conference, Austin.
 
(1999). The refugee health site: Development and use. Texas Department of Health Refugee Screening Conference, Dallas.
 
(1998). Hospice care for Muslim patients and families. National Hospice Organization Annual Symposium, Dallas.
 
(1998). with E. McKinnis. Lung cancer: Natural history and symptom management. National Hospice Organization Annual Symposium, Dallas.
 
(1997). Cancer screening among Southeast Asian refugees: The role of students. Annual Meeting of the Oncology Nursing Society, San Francisco.
 
(1996). Community Care: Nursing students providing district nursing services. Paper presented at Community Partnerships in Health Professions Education: A National Conference on Service-Learning, Boston, Massachusetts.
 
(1996). Breast cancer screening among Southeast Asian refugees. Paper presented at the annual Susan G. Komen Foundation Affiliates Meeting, Dallas, Texas.
 
(1995). Hospice: Current trends and implications for public health. Paper presented at the annual Texas Public Health Association Meeting, Austin, Texas.
 
(1995). The community health clinical group as district nurse. Paper presented at the annual Texas Public Health Association Meeting, Austin, Texas.
 
(1994). Community development. Paper presented at the annual Texas Public Health Association Meeting, Corpus Christi, Texas.
 
(1994). Islam: Influences on health care beliefs and practices in Islamic cultures. Paper presented at the annual Texas Public Health Association Meeting, Corpus Christi, Texas.
 
(1993). with S. Beasley, R.W. Bell, L.M. Duckworth, A Gibson, and J. Weese. Baccalaureate nursing students and Kurdish refugees in the U.S. Poster presented at the annual Global Health Conference, Galveston, Texas.
 
(1992). with M. McEwen. Operationalizing ANA’s agenda for health care reform in a baccalaureate nursing program. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the American Public Health Association, Washington, D.C.
 
(1991). Hospice care for Southeast Asian refugees. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the National Hospice Organization. Seattle, WA.
 
(1990). Grants and power. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the National Nurses Society on Addictions, Dallas, Texas.
 
(1990). Grants and the money to make dreams reality. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the National Association for Home Care, Dallas, Texas.
 
(1987). Refugee psychosocial issues: The refugee pediatric oncology patient. Paper presented at the annual Children’s Medical Center/American Cancer Society Symposium on Pediatric Oncology Patients, Dallas, Texas.
 
(1986). with S.J. Todd. Primary care for Cambodian Refugees. Paper presented at the Eleventh National Primary Care Nurse Practitioner Symposium, Denver, Colorado.
 
(1985). Human needs and funding shortages: Program development strategies. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the American Public Health Association, Washington, D.C.
 
(1985) An allied health professions response to refugee health problems. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the American Society of Allied Health Professions, Dallas, Texas.
 
(1985). Community networking. Paper presented at the National Workshop of the Association of Junior Leagues, Irving, Texas.
 
(1985). Infant mortality in Southeast Asian refugees. Paper presented at the Regional Conference of the U.S. Public Health Service, Dallas, Texas.
 
(1984). Refugee and immigrant health. Paper presented at the annual Community Health Institute of the National Association of Community Health Centers, San Antonio, Texas.
(1984). Building a hospice team. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the Texas Hospice Organization, Dallas, Texas.
 
(1984). The TWU refugee health project. Poster presentation at the annual meeting of the American Nurses Association, Kansas City, Missouri.
 
(1984). Family planning and health care for Cambodian refugees in the U.S.: an international perspective. Paper presented at the international meeting of the National Council on International Health, Washington, D.C.
 
(1983). Cultural characteristics of Cambodian refugees. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the American Public Health Association, Washington, D.C.
Community Projects (sole or primary responsibility for planning, implementing, and/or obtaining funding)
Community Care: District health services through Baylor University School of Nursing and community agencies. Services include community outreach, a primary care clinic, home care, lay health promoter training, social work, chaplaincy, and other services. The Agape Clinic is central to these efforts – see grants below.
 
Vietnam Veterans Resource Center: a resource/service center for veterans of Vietnam.
 
Welcome House: a “halfway house” for refugees arriving in the U.S.
 
T.W.U. Refugee Health Project: a clinical for community health nursing course. This project was integrated with the Welcome House, Khmer Community Development Project, and East Dallas Health Coalition.
 
East Dallas Health Coalition: a primary care community clinic. Many community organizations were involved. EDHC is now a multipurpose health center open seven days/week with primary care services for adults, pediatrics, women’s health services, dental care, and WIC.
 
Khmer Community Development Project: a multi-purpose project to benefit Cambodian refugees. (National Council of Jewish Women project).
 
V.N.A. Home Hospice: the first operational hospice program in Texas. This hospice had the largest average daily census in the U.S., and was designated a national demonstration project.
 
Since 1982, averaged about 10 community conferences, workshops, or presentations per year for such organizations as Parkland, Children’s Medical Center, Dallas City and County Health Departments, Child Welfare, U.T. Southwestern, Dallas Police, MH/MR, and others.
Grants Received (primary author – average around $100,000/year when writing)
Funding for services and programs of the Agape Clinic, 2000-2006: Numerous private and public foundations, churches, and other entities.
 
Funding for community health education, 2003-2004: Aetna Foundation.
 
Funding for the salary of a lay health promoter, 2000, 2001, 2004: First Presbyterian Foundation.
 
Medications, equipment, and supplies for Baylor Community Care, 1996-2000: First Presbyterian Church of Dallas.
 
Funding to develop a web site on infectious diseases of refugees and immigrants, 1999-2000: Texas Department of Health. See web sites above for path/address.
 
Funding to develop a Refugee Health web site, 1997-98: Texas Department of Health. Extended through 1999. See web sites above for path/address.
Asthma equipment and services for underserved community patients (of the East Dallas Health Center), 1999: Communities Foundation.
Education and services for Asian refugees, 1997-2000: U.S. Office of Minority Health.
Funding for summer services (1996, 1997) through Baylor Community Care: Bob Smith Foundation, BUMC Foundation, private gifts.
 
Equipment for Baylor Community Care, 1995: Communities Foundation.
 
Alcohol/drug abuse prevention for homeless children, 1989-91: Office of Substance Abuse Prevention, 1989-1992.
 
HIV prevention for IV drug abusers, 1989-91: Centers for Disease Control.
 
Amerasian Project, 1989: InterAction (branch of U.S. Department of State).
 
Vietnam Veterans Resource Center, 1988: Welcome Home Foundation.
 
T.W.U. Refugee Health Project, 1987: City of Dallas.
 
Welcome House, 1984: Hunt Alternatives Foundation.
 
Welcome House, 1984-86: Highland Park United Methodist Church; other churches.
 
Khmer Community Development Project, 1984-86: National Council of Jewish Women – funding and services of a volunteer coordinator (part of T.W.U. Refugee Health Project).
 
Dallas-Fort Worth Refugee Interagency operating funds, 1983-86: Various churches.
 
Dallas-Fort Worth Refugee Interagency operating funds, 1984-85: Church World Service.
 
Community Family Planning Outreach, 1983: Anonymous foundation.
 
East Dallas Health Coalition seed funding, 1982: Temple Emanu-El – funding + involvement of the Temple Emanu-El Social Action Committee in developing the East Dallas Health Coalition. This proposal was also used for successful proposals to Hillcrest, Hoblitzelle, Meadows, and other foundations.
 
Hospice Services and Equipment, 1979: Dallas Junior League.
 
Hospice Demonstration Project, 1979-82: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
 
Hospice Services and Equipment for Indigent Patients, 1979-80: Several churches.
 
Hospice Demonstration Project, 1978: Texas Department of Human Resources.
 
Other grants: Consulted on or participated in the writing of a number of other successful proposals.
Honors and Awards
Abner V. McCall Humanitarian Award – Baylor University, 2006
 
Faculty Award for Excellence – Elsevier Science (national award), 2006
 
Outstanding University Scholar, Baylor University, 2006
 
Fellow in the American Academy of Nursing, 2002
 
Margaret Stein Award for Outstanding Service in Community Health (national award), 1999
 
Outstanding University Lecturer, Baylor University, 1997
 
Outstanding Community Volunteer, DISD
 
Outstanding Community Volunteer Award, DFW Vietnamese Community
 
Golden Rule Award, J.C. Penney
 
Presidential Citation, Vietnam Veterans of America
 
Special Award for Service, D.I.S.D.
 
Outstanding Volunteer, Volunteer Center/ARCO
 
Other recognition from the Dallas Police Department, Dallas County Historical Society, D.I.S.D., Weed & Seed, Baylor, and State of Texas
 
Magna cum laude graduate of Baylor University
 
Alpha Chi
 
Purple Heart Medal and other decorations, United States Marine Corps, Vietnam
Community Activities
Work as a volunteer with individuals and families in hospice and in the refugee community since 1978
 
Agape Clinic, founding member of governing board, vice chair, 2002-2003; chair, 2003-2005; volunteer, 2001-
 
East Dallas Health Center, Chairman of Community Advisory Committee, 1998-1999; Vice Chair, 2001-2002
 
Church Health Ministries, member of Community Advisory Board, 1997-2000
 
Open Ring church school class of First Presbyterian Church of Dallas, President, 2001-2002; 1994-1995; Vice President, 1993-1994
 
Turtle Creek Health (HIV services), President of (founding) governing board, 1994-1995
 
Refugee Services of North-Central Texas, Executive Committee of Board of Directors, 1990-1994
 
Planned Parenthood of Greater Dallas, Board of Directors, 1987-1989
 
East Dallas Y.M.C.A., Advisory Board, 1988-1989
 
East Dallas Health Coalition, (founding) Executive Committee of Board of Directors, 1983-1988
 
Dallas-Fort Worth Refugee Interagency, Executive Committee of Board of Directors, 1984-1987; President of Board, 1986
 
Dallas Refugee Council, Advisory Committee, 1984-1987
 
Brookside Neighborhood Association, Board of Directors, 1983-1985; Vice President, 1990-1993
 
Advisory or other non-governing participation in a variety of other organizations

More Love, more Pride

I walked to the Memorial corner of Castro and 18th Streets (where people create memorials to loved ones). The corner and then some filled with memorials to the 49 who were murdered in Orlando. I thought about choices and toughness in the LGBTQ world. Who would choose to be denigrated, discriminated against, hated, brutalized, murdered? In the face of hatred, the choice is to Love, to Dance, to Be. Lots of tough customers in this community! More Love, more Pride!
You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won’t back down.
This is where my son and his husband live. It’s where I live. More Love, more Pride!

California dreamin’

Dallas: the fireflies are out tonight. 4 o’clocks and Mexican tarragon perfume the air.

Flagging

It was a month to remember. David and I spent time together almost every day. And there were so many nice lunches and dinners (Eureka!). Living so close – just a few blocks from one another. It’s a special and immeasurably good feeling to run into David and Charles on Castro or Market or Noe, in our community.
Flagging
We went to Flagging in the Park – a beautiful tribal gathering in the meadow at the National AIDS Memorial Grove. Where Leslie’s ashes are. Where there is a partially buried stone inscribed, Sweet Leslie (from David and Charles). Where I held many small ceremonies for Leslie. Where on this day, we’re piled up on a blanket at the edge of the meadow. Happy!
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Mendocino

So much happened this trip that it’s difficult to recapture even the sequences, so I’ll write with small regard for what happened when and the photos are also out of sequence (but I don’t think you’ll mind that). Late April into late May in San Francisco with David and in Berkeley and on Highway 1 with Jean. By way of introduction, Jean’s website is here. We share many similar interests and values. This is a good time.

Mendocino

Headed south from Berkeley to Aptos, a little town next to Santa Cruz where Jean was to give a talk to a weaver’s guild. Traffic was heavy until we got over the mountains. Finally a mad dash into a coffee shop where she hesitated at the car and I dashed on in to the restroom. Ahhh, Knock-Knock, “Hurry up.” I opened the door and she came in and not that I ended up peeing in the sink while she used the commode… but if I did, I rinsed it out with care. Whew! A relationship building exercise. On to the weaver’s guild venue (a little late) into a forest where we unloaded the art Jean would use for her presentation.

I left her there and went to the beach where I lay on a sarong in the sand listening to the surf tumbling in and shwoooshing out; in and out; in and out; hypnotizing. Back to the weaver’s place, load the car, head north via a back road to La Honda. La Honda, where the Merry Pranksters, Ken Kesey, Mountain Girl, Wavy Gravy and all had a scene among the redwoods.
Into the mountains to the gate to the road where Jean’s friends live in a handmade home on steep acreage among the redwoods. But before we got to the house we stopped to walk into the forest. Faerie circles in the redwood forest.
The woman is an artist and close friend of Jean’s; her husband a creator of metal sculpture, buildings, roads, whatever is needed for a beautiful life in the forest. Good fellowship, good hot tub, good food, good cannabis, good times.
La Honda

——————–

Other friends visited:
A home in Richmond – altar on the way in past the flowers, into a home of colors and textures and a magical hallway. Artists, makers, wonderful things. A lovely, relaxing evening. Someone put on Positively 4thStreet, a song I’d been listening to earlier. Three of the four of us have lost a spouse, all were deep in the 60s, so lots of understanding.
Potrero Hill, an extended family, an attorney and a musician. More easy times – which is very good for a not-very-sociable me. The attorney elicited a lot of information from me in a short while – which also was good as I’m not wont to volunteer a lot of personal information.
Mendocino (seals)

Richmond Hills, up the longest front steps in the world and at the top, a home and a love story for the ages. Late, late in life he was looking at some art on the internet and clicked on one of the graphics to discover that the artist was his lost love from 40+ years ago. He contacted her and they fell in love all over again and here they are a couple of years later, together. Another wonderful evening.

——————–      
N Judah to Civic Center BART to Berkeley. Another afternoon and evening with Jean in the Berkeley Hills with Golden Gate Bridge far in the distance, sun setting over the Bay and Mount Tamalpais, lights in the fog…
Jean at Chez Panisse

In the morning driving north across the Richmond-San Rafael Bridge, past San Quentin, up the highway, into wine country, into the endless redwood forest, and then the sea, the headlands, the rocks, the hills around Mendocino. Mendocino! The land of my dreams!

Then Fort Bragg, which looks like the former army town it is, but then down a long road and more redwoods into The Garden at Roads End. I’ve never seen so much extravagant beauty in one place. As if the eight acres of Roads End wasn’t enough, we walked far into the Mendocino Area Botanical Gardens – rhododendron forests, foxglove blooming everywhere, roses, wonderful.
We had a beautiful and romantic several days in this place of unparalleled beauty. On the beach, the headlands, restaurants, forest, garden, hot tub, wine country (I even kind of went to a wine tasting), California dreamin’ yeah.

Deep gratitude.

The Garden at Road’s End – eight acres of redwoods and flowers


Dear Anthony

Congratulations, Anthony
Jesuit Preparatory School, 2016

Dear Anthony,

Congratulations! What a job you’ve done! And look what lies ahead! I am proud to know you and your family. 
I want to share some things that were helpful to me in one way or another along the way toward graduating magna cum laude from Baylor.
Background: from middle school through high school and into college I was a terrible student. When I applied to Baylor, I had a 1.7 GPA – proof of my poor performance in school. The Dean at Baylor gave me a list of prerequisites and told me to come back if I could make straight A’s in those subjects. She was surprised when I showed up a year later with all A’s in chemistry, biology, anatomy, physiology, and so on! What helped:
  • Never missed a class, was never late, always sat up front, and paid total attention in class. I was unafraid to ask questions during or after class – or before the next class. 

  • As soon as possible after every class I recopied my notes (adding material from texts if needed to help me understand). In this manner, I heard the material, wrote the material, and rewrote and started integrating the material. It was like pre-studying for tests. I don’t know how I would interact with a computer or PowerPoint in this process – maybe read carefully back through notes and use text to add to them? I don’t know.
  • Changed my handwriting from scrawlish to as neat as possible.
  • Treated school like a job – I worked at it from 8am to 5 or 6pm. I didn’t take long social lunches, but I always ate lunch and didn’t study while eating. I also took other breaks and changed my study locations during the day when I started getting sleepy. In

    undergraduate school I took most of most weekends off; in graduate school I had to work harder – that was a 6-7 day/week job. 

  • Group projects are a fact of life. And there are always people who don’t do their part, are late, and are otherwise non-productive. Be assertive in identifying smart, motivated people (they’re often quiet people) and connecting with them to work together. This is an important skill.
  • Often studied with other people – again, choosing carefully. You’ll make good study connections over time.
  • Avoided situations and people who wouldn’t help in my journey. I don’t mean I didn’t help other people; I did. But I avoided people who were unmotivated, drinkers, stoners, gamers, and so on. I went out some on weekends, but it was not one big party. I actually had a very good time in school, and have been having a good time ever since. 
  • I recall seeing some legitimate research showing that students who worked part-time in college tended to do well – working apparently does not have an adverse effect on grades.
  • Always bought used books. If it’s such a great book and worth the high price charged for new, you can always get one later.

Garden at Road’s End, outside Fort Bragg

Being a good student is hard work and the rewards are many. You get to learn a lot, test yourself, spend time with smart people, meet new people, see new things, and open up your life in other unanticipated and wonderful ways.

School can be a gateway to an amazing life.

How Weird, hospice (the purpose), ports of call (Asia)

How Weird, 2016
How Weird is a street party in San Francisco – about 20,000 people, fragrant air, 10 stages, trance around every corner – BIG THUMP THUMP THUMP! 2016 was a good one! How Weird site
——————
I found this from days gone past (in the 1995 book): “The underlying purpose or mission of hospice/ palliative/terminal care is to facilitate an internal and external physical, psychosocial, and spiritual environment in which the patient and his or her loved ones have the opportunity for reconciliation with God, others, and self… to realize the purpose of life.” 
We took on pain, suffering, despair, emptiness… with knowledge, skill, commitment, presence…
In the Still of the Night, Hong Kong 5am
——————
Traveling in Asia… All those places…
(Links are to some – not all – posts from Asia travels)
Hong Kong – Home base, where we always spent at least a few days going to and coming from SE Asia. My first time there was in 1967; Leslie and I started going in 1978; our last time was in 2013. I love Hong Kong. “Urban compression!” 2012, 2005, 2008

(Ridicerous!), some photos, and 2013 (our last HK post)

Leslie’s favorite banh cuon lady in Hanoi
Hanoi – Walking in the “medieval streets” of the Old Quarter, Leslie said, “I love Vietnam. It’s fun. It’s clean. The people are nice and seem to be honest. And the food is unbelievable.” Nobody in the history of the world ever said all that together about Vietnam. Vietnam! Leslie! 2010, with David and 2008 (first time)
Sapa – A town in the clouds, literally; in the cool northern Vietnam highlands; kind of like Nepal. Sapa, 2013 
A lake in the middle of an island in Halong Bay
Tam Coc – In a two-person boat on the river running through rice fields, along limestone cliffs, through caves… Hanoi and Tam Coc
Halong – Incredible islands of vertical limestone rising mysteriously from the mist and a placid sea on a boat with about 20 passengers. One of them said, “I have, what do you call it – the sickness of the ocean. I want to womit.” Halong – a ship of (some) fools 
Hue – Beautiful Hue, my favorite city in the world (along with San Francisco and Berkeley). My first time here was in 1967. It’s raining, misty, tropical, mysterious, this city of ghosts. Hue (it’s raining) and Beautiful Hue
David and Leslie in the rain near Hue.
I love this photograph.
Hoi An – Narrow streets, few cars, old shop fronts, tailors, and tourists. Hoi An and Hill 55 (2005)
Danang – I spent 3-4 days/month there for six months in 1967. Leslie and I just passed through a few times. A place with a lot of memories, many of them good.
Near Battambang
Saigon – Oh hell, yes! Packed streets and markets (it’s a commercial rave scene), millions of motos, brilliant street food, countless narrow lanes, a place of many good memories since my first time there in 2005, 2012, 2006
Mekong Delta – The greenest place I’ve ever been, water, water everywhere, a beautiful place. 2006
Phnom Penh – The first time there it seemed ominous, but over time, opened up. David was there for a year working at the Hope Medical Center. Mony, Sophear, their family, Samnang – welcome! 2006 (includes Phnom Penh and Hope Hospital),  2005 (I never imagined visiting mass graves or torture rooms)
In Chiang Mai
Battambang – The heartland of Cambodia, slow-moving, deep into the countryside 5 minutes out of town. 2010, 2005
Siem Reap (Angkor) – Ancient temples, deserted for centuries, and we’re slow-walking into the empty forest around Angkor. 2005, 2006
Kampot – Sleepy riverside town where the river empties into the Gulf of Siam. Phnom Penh and Kampot
Poipet – (Cambodian border town) It used to be the dirtiest imaginable town with dusty, ghostly, ragged people trudging around; now, it’s full of casinos and brothels.
Curry – two with rice for a dollar or two
Aranyaprathet – Several times, actually. Once we were staying in a house way out in the countryside a mile or so from where artillery was hitting. We talked about where we would meet if the arty hit us and we were separated and Leslie was like, “Okay.” A very cool person. Khao-I-Dang – the refugee camp near Aran. Photos, words about K-I-D
Leslie in Burma, 2007 and Kathmandu, 1978
Bangkok – Southeast Asia’s main travel hub. To put it into context, the population is almost 3x bigger than Houston, but with waaay less urban planning. Leslie loved Bangkok and we had many good times there – The Miami, where as a gesture of solidarity with the prostitutes who weren’t allowed to use the elevator, Leslie always took the stairs. The Century Motel, Nansok’s, Boon’s, Drop Inn, Suk 11, Merry V Guesthouse, Stephan’s, Jean-Francoise’s, Harry’s… 2008, 2009 (rediscovering Bangkok) (also see You call it liver… below)
Kho Samui – In those days, just an overloaded ferry-ish boat. Little grass hut on the beach for about $1.50. Photo below.
Ayyutahya – Ancient ruins north of Bangkok.
Worship at Shwe Dagon in Rangoon
Chiang Mai – City of many temples, markets, festivals, good food, cheaper guesthouses and hotels, cooler temperatures, and happy memories. Our first time in Chiang Mai was 1978 and our last time was December 2013. “You call it liver; I call it karma” (2013), 2011, 2007 with David
From left: Paul, Charles, Leslie, Vera – in Mandalay
Luang Prabang – A UNESCO World Heritage city, which means that old buildings are preserved vs. new one built, small signs, many travelers (more travelers than tourists). Great times for Leslie, David, me – and a great connection to Ben and Magera. 2007 with David
Rangoon – We were here in the old days, when visas were for 7 days only, and in modern times when the city is (now) called Yangon and visas are for longer stays. There was one magical night in a government guesthouse. And magical days at Shewdagon – the great golden temple/paya. Photos from 1970s, Shwe Dagon 
A transgender trance dancer (pink top) in a nat
ceremony down a side street in Mandalay, 1980s
Moulmein! – “By the old Moulmein Pagoda, lookin’ lazy at the sea, there’s a Burma girl a-setting, and I know she thinks o’ me…” And I sat right where Kipling’s Burma girl sat, and I looked out to the sea and thought of her… Following written on the train from Moulmein to Rangoon:
Mountains above,
Padi below,
In mystic light.

Through a village in a forest,
A beautiful, graceful girl,
With thanaka on her cheeks,
And a basket on her head,
Walks out of a dark path among the trees.
Then another one!

Down in a small valley between green, green hills women bathing by a stream, sarongs up over their breasts. Children playing. How I wish, how I wish you were here. 
Mountains close by the road, clouds touching to tops and sunlight touching the sides with golden stupas glittering in the sunlight – like a hallucination. Smell of growth and wood smoke. Child with short hair and thanaka on her cheeks and nose. Some houses, but mostly hooches, some nice, some poor. It’s not too hot, but it is hot.
Somewhere along the way I lose almost all my commitments, except for Leslie and David and the mission. Moulmein and other places in Burma, 2007
At Shwe Dagon
Pegu – Home of the world’s most beautiful reclining Buddha and not much else – just an incredible small Burmese town. See photos and 2007 links above
Mandalay – More magic in this sprawling dusty village-like city. Leslie and Charles: they’d have fun anywhere! More photos from 1970s
Sagaing – a mystic town of temples and monasteries across the hills, in the mist. See photos and 2007 links above
Maymyo – A former British hill station, where there are miniature stagecoaches instead of taxis. See photos and 2007 links above
Outside of Kathmandu
Calcutta – Every block of every street had many, many people sleeping on the sidewalks, even in the street. There was a corpse right outside the gate to our hotel. Leslie’s dysentery got worse here.
Kathmandu – A hippie paradise framed by the Himalayas. On the plane out of Kathmandu, flying over the snowy mountains, Leslie said, “If this plane goes down (and that seemed like a possibility), what a place to die!”
Ko Samui – Leslie and our little hut


Food in Asia post

Coming home

I was reading in Archaic Revival: “The experience must move one’s heart, and it will not move the heart unless it deals with issues of life and death. If it deals with life and death it will move one to fear, it will move one to tears, it will move one to laughter…” Earlier, my friend Jean sent this message: “Magical it all is. Is it life or is it death that is a mystery? Perhaps both?” Yes, and everything in between.
So fine to find one of these little temples. Dry, strong walls.
What else could you want? Photo Kim Ki Sam 
Coming home
Near Lang Vei, where I slept with rats. Photo R. Merron
There was a last formation somewhere near Danang – 30-something Marines standing together where there had once been 180. The ones who were not there had been killed or wounded too badly to return to combat or wounded three times (it was a three and you’re out deal) orbeen too sick to fight (with malaria, etc.). All of us in that formation had been wounded at least once. We were what was left of C Company, 1stBattalion, 26th Marine Regiment, 5th Marine Division. We had all gone together as a landing force, first been truly blooded at the DMZ in Operation Deckhouse (Prairie), fought for months at Dodge City, fought on Highway 1, and ended up at Khe Sanh. I had also gone on TAD (Temporary Assigned Duty) with 1st Battalion, 9th Marines and several other units in the Hill Fights, the “First Battle of Khe Sanh,” Gio Linh, Con Tien, etc.
Resuscitation failing. Henri Huet
And now here we were, 30-something of us – sallow, skinny, nervous… real warriors – no muscled up or tanned or beer-bellied or tough guy REMFs (rear echelon mother-fuckers) in thisformation.
They flew us first to Okinawa where we did what we always did when we could – got drunk and so on. I had a moment of glory in a brothel when I hit some old REMF lifer (actually he was probably all of 30 or 35 years old) hard enough that he literally went through the wall and then somehow, I and my mate, Carver, got away from the Shore Patrol (military police). It was the perfect end to my tour of duty.

Cigarette! Photo Oliver Noonan

From Oki, they flew us to Camp Pendleton, where I drank endless glasses of cold, cold milk, ate chocolate cake, and those sorts of things. The mess hall for returnees actually had a juke box that was playing over and over again,
Groovin’
down a crowded avenue
Doin’
Anything we’d like to do
We’re gonna talk and laugh our time away…
Peace. Photo Associated Press
We were given the opportunity to re-up (no takers on that deal!) and processed out of the Corps. Adios mother-fuckers.
I flew to Dallas. There was none of the airport harassment one heard about. In my mind I was scary looking, but probably I just looked like a nervous, skinny guy who wouldn’t look anyone in the eye – because, in my mind, I didn’t want to frighten anyone.
Welcome home. 

MD Anderson moments, words seen walking around San Francisco (Viva la Vulva!), thoughts on Madame George

Castro Street

Photos are of words seen while walking around San Francisco – “the city without an end.” Click photo and drift on through the slideshow.
——————

Sitting in the lobby at MD Anderson Cancer Center (with a friend), a few feet from a baby girl about two years old, sick with cancer – like a poster child for chemo, like a flower, like a dream. People walking by, many with their own problems. They look at her and I’m looking at them and I can see some of them sending waves of love and sorrow to her and her Mom and Dad. Oh!
——————–
In the secret space of dreams
Where I dreaming lay amazed
When the secrets all are told
And the petals all unfold
When there was no dream of mine
You dreamed of me.
——————–
Somewhere else in the lobby a woman leans over. A lovely view. I smile at her, she at me. A break in the day.
——————–

MD Anderson is overwhelming. More hope and fear and love and and and and than can be imagined. And at the same time, a familiar and comfortable environment for me. I feel such pride in my students who work at MD Anderson, at Parkland, at Children’s, Baylor, Africa, India, all those places – saving lives, giving hope, feeding the poor, cleansing the lepers…
——————-
Last year the city installed plaques on Castro
honoring gay men and women of note

Walking along Castro, behind a couple sharing a vape. He was wearing a Humboldt State University Marching Lumberjacks jacket. A plaque set into the sidewalk commemorates a week in 1998 when the Castro gay community newspaper (Bay Area Reporter) had no obituaries. In the 1980s into the 90s there had been an average of 12 obits every week as AIDS ravaged this community more than any other.

The street is alive tonight. On the corner at Castro and 18th where the shrines are, a couple is singing and playing guitars and laughing. I put money in the guitar case. At the bus stop there was a car with trance going and I walked over by it so I could hear the music better. An older man in the car was smoking a joint… 

Then a little kid almost ran out in front of another car. A man standing at the bus stop said, “That was close” and I’m like, yeah! The man and I talked a little. He and his daughters were going to the Haight. He asked me if I know where the Jefferson Airplane house is. I said, I wasn’t sure, maybe Page, but somebody will know. I looked it up when I got home – it’s at 2400 Fulton. The little boy who lives in the other apartment on my floor wanted me to watch him ride his bike. This was his second day of riding and he got going pretty good. Another Saturday afternoon in The City.
When you fall into a trance… Madame George
On Market Street

There was a time, before “I Heart Radio” – gag, when sometimes you would turn the radio on and hear something like Madame George or Sugaree or Visions of Johanna. These are great songs from the past, but the point is, you can’t hear current corollaries to such greatness on the radio today – despite the fact that there is a whole lot of greatness happening today. I’ve been listening to Madame George for days now – this version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mceI44LrEKk

At the N (light rail) stop at Duboce and Church

I think I have some – some – understanding of Madame George (which, btw, was originally conceived as Madame Joy). It feels like it’s about us – all of us who came up in the strait-laced 50s and into the counter-culture 60s. And it feels like Madame George herself is a means of expressing ideas/feelings vs. a person the  song is about.

Lord have mercy, I think that it’s the cops!
Maybe it’s about you, me, Al, David, Leslie, my mate Jeff, your friend Janet, our times (times like no other, before or since).
And that smell of sweet perfume comes drifting through
The cool night air like Shalimar
Yes, Viva la Vulva!

As for Madame George herself, maybe she’s us, too, through time or maybe something else. It’s about what we had…

And as you leave, the room is filled with music, laughing, music,
dancing, music all around the room.
It’s about what we lost… and now we have to go… We have to go…
Say goodbye, goodbye
Get on the train
Get on the train, the train, the train…
This is the train, this is the train…
Whoa, say goodbye, goodbye…
Get on the train, get on the train…
(CK)
——————-

David Robbins (sent by Jean C.): “I could listen to Van Morrison’s “Astral Weeks” forever and never grow tired of it. Listening to it somehow connects me to a deep truth, old as the universe itself. I’ve more than once found myself listening to the album and falling into a reverie, completely lost in its time; weeping uncontrollably, grabbing my chest to slow my breathing. I don’t know what it is exactly about this album. I don’t think I ever will. I feel it so viscerally, that it has become me. I am a writer, who can often write about music with skill, but I will never touch even the outskirts of what makes “Astral Weeks” so timeless, and so majestic. There’s a courageousness in Van Morrison’s deep search into the slipstream. “Astral Weeks” flies headlong into love, finding a melancholy so true it rips your heart out. I’m bruised by the beauty of “Astral Weeks”. The world isn’t the same once you’ve really heard it. The album shows us how everything in this world is tinged with a meaning deeper than we can fathom, and that we need to embrace it. All of it: death, love, hurt, despair, elation, decay, passion, tragedy, nature, spirituality — and to ultimately find connection with all things”.

I came up out of the subway and was greeted
by this poster – I asked myself, How am I doing?

———————

Jean C.: To me, for now, this is what I think: Madame George is an essence, a very exotic phenomenon. She is both male and female but most of all she is someone whose nature encompasses us all. Like you said she is US. She is YOUTH.
———————
VM: Here is what Van said: “It’s like a movie, a sketch, or a short story. In fact, most of the songs on Astral Weeks are like short stories. In terms of what they mean, they’re as baffling to me as to anyone else. I haven’t got a clue what that song is about or who Madame George might have been.
Imbedded in F (street car) stop 

The original title was “Madame Joy” but the way I wrote it down was “Madame George”. Don’t ask me why I do this because I just don’t know. The song is just a stream of consciousness thing, as is Cyprus Avenue… Madame George just came right out. The song is basically about a spiritual feeling.”


Down on Cyprus Avenue


In a wall. Marilyn Chin is a beautiful romantic
With a childlike vision leaping into view
Clicking, clacking of the high heeled shoe
Ford & Fitzroy, Madame George
Marching with the soldier boy behind
He’s much older with hat on drinking wine
And that smell of sweet perfume comes drifting through
The cool night air like Shalimar
And outside they’re making all the stops
The kids out in the street collecting bottle-tops
Gone for cigarettes and matches in the shops
Happy taken Madame George
That’s when you fall
Whoa, that’s when you fall
Yeah, that’s when you fall

When you fall into a trance
A sitting on a sofa playing games of chance
With your folded arms and history books you glance
Into the eyes of Madame George
And you think you found the bag
You’re getting weaker and your knees begin to sag
In the corner playing dominoes in drag
The one and only Madame George
And then from outside the frosty window raps
She jumps up and says Lord have mercy I think it’s the cops
And immediately drops everything she gots
Down into the street below
F Line stop


And you know you gotta go
On that train from Dublin up to Sandy Row
Throwing pennies at the bridges down below
And the rain, hail, sleet, and snow
Say goodbye to Madame George
Dry your eye for Madame George
Wonder why for Madame George
And as you leave, the room is filled with music, laughing, music,
dancing, music all around the room
And all the little boys come around, walking away from it all
So cold
And as you’re about to leave
She jumps up and says Hey love, you forgot your gloves
And the gloves to love to love the gloves…
To say goodbye to Madame George
Dry your eye for Madame George
Wonder why for Madame George
Dry your eyes for Madame George
Say goodbye in the wind and the rain on the back street
In the backstreet, in the back street
Say goodbye to Madame George
In the backstreet, in the back street, in the back street
Down home, down home in the back street
Gotta go

Somewhere in Inner Sunset

Say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Dry your eye your eye your eye your eye your eye…
Say goodbye to Madame George
And the loves to love to love the love
Say goodbye
Oooooo
Mmmmmmm
Concrete graffiti on my street. And it’s true! 


Say goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye to Madame George
Dry your eye for Madame George
Wonder why for Madame George
The love’s to love the love’s to love the love’s to love…
Say goodbye, goodbye
Get on the train
Get on the train, the train, the train…
This is the train, this is the train…
Whoa, say goodbye, goodbye….
Get on the train, get on the train…





Last love letter

This was the last love letter I sent to Leslie – just under three months before she passed away, more than 50 years into our relationship.
When we first started work with refugees
Dear Leslie
Written in the car parked in front Of Lucky Dog Books (Paperbacks+): I’m driving along through Hollywood Heights. Stopped at an intersection and flashed on someone running the stop sign and running into me. Listening to U2 – songs of mercy (who sings about mercy?), sorrow, joy, transcendence – Mothers of The Disappeared, Miss Sarajevo, One Love.
Leslie at memorial for Feather, hand in hand with
Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence at Duboce Park
Oh Leslie. I’m thinking how you and I have lived The Dream. Our whole lives working for a better world, for justice (you’re a warrior, no doubt), for suffering people, for beauty – living a world of love, navigating our way through what I truly believe were the most incredible times in history – civil rights, women’s rights, sexual revolution, psychedelic revolution, gay rights/marriage equality and the list goes on and we were there/we are here, together, each in our own way, making it happen.

January 2015, San Francisco
And now, whatever it is that’s happening is as mind-opening as anything that went before. I feel kind of like you’re taking us on a ride and I’m in awe. Not always an easy ride LOL. I feel zero need to label it or do anything other than experience it and I love thinking about it.
Leslie in a jeep in Burma, on the road to Maymyo
About the fact that he and I were warriors and then psychedelic, and now dancing beneath the stars, Jeff says in that hard voice, “There ain’t many in this class.” And I say about your and my individual paths and our paths combined where we did IT ALL, “There aren’t many in this class.“ Few have done it as fully as we have.
So I thought about a car slamming into me and I thought, if I die today, I AM fulfilled. And I thought, if we never have sex again, I AM fulfilled. I hope none of this happens for a long time, and I know, backslider that I am, I’ll be grumbling again before long. But the bottom line is – and I’ve said this before – Thank you for this astonishing life. It’s been everything I couldn’t have even imagined.
Beep-Beep! Here she comes!

Other people’s words… What moves you? Die knowing something. Do things that matter to your heart.

What moves you most in a work of literature?
Advice from my 80 year-old self
“What moves me is, I think, the trifecta of memory, love, and the passage of time. The close observation of character, of the moment as it passes – suffused with love. The writer who says: Here I stood! I loved the world enough to write it all down.” Sarah Ruhl in a NYT interview – http://www.sarahruhlplaywright.com/
—————-
“Stare. It is the way to educate your eye, and more. Stare; pry; listen; eavesdrop. Die knowing something. You are not here long.”
Walker Evans, who took archetypal photographs during the Great Depression (see one below)
—————-
I came up from the underground MUNI and there was this poster (Do Things That Matter to Your Heart) from an art project by Susan O’Malley: Advice from My 80 Year-Old Self: An Artist’s Bittersweet Legacy of Real Wisdom from Strangers Ages 7 to 88.
And I thought, “How is it going (Am I doing things that matter to my heart)?” And I answered myself, “Pretty well. Yes.”
Walker Evans photo
In writing about this poster, I found the following on the Brain Pickings site: “Just as the answers (posters like these)— some profound, some playful, all disarmingly sincere — began appearing across the San Francisco Bay Area in O’Malley’s public art installations, an unforgiving testament to the very premise of the project struck: One winter Wednesday, 38-year-old O’Malley fell unconscious and died a week before she was due to deliver the twin girls with whom she was pregnant; despite the emergency C-section, the babies also perished.”
Susan O’Malley’s words: “I started this project because I needed to listen to my 80-year-old self. At the time, I spent sleepless nights wondering, Should I leave my grown-up job with a paycheck and benefits to pursue my artistic passions? This ongoing dream felt terribly irresponsible, scary, and uncharted. But with the rapid illness of my mom, who was only in her 60s at the time, life suddenly felt too short not to take a risk. How would I feel at 80 if I did, or did not, make this choice? Before I had the courage to truly take the leap though, I turned to the words of strangers to help me navigate the way.”

Point Reyes, March 2016

———————

“This ain’t no disco; this ain’t no fooling around.” Talking Heads

A beautiful person (looking into her mind), beautiful people

“We are to love in deed and truth, not just word and speech … we ought to lay down our lives for one another.” Dan Foster
(Some of the below names are changed for confidentiality.)
3/19/2007 – An email from Leslie to Diane & Marisa
Hi friends,
Maryam was discharged today about 1:00. I saw her yesterday and had a long visit + began trying to make arrangements to have A____ (brother) admitted at Green Oaks as his condition continues to deteriorate. Maryam and Nabilah both want him hospitalized and put back on his meds but he has continued to refuse to go into the Baylor ER altho staff have assured the family that he would be admitted. I did not go to the apt today as they were waiting for the Hospice Nurse so I don’t know if Nabilah and her husband who arrived yesterday were able to take him to Green Oaks after I left yesterday- that was their plan when I left about 4:30.
Leslie in her office, 1982
So see how this sounds for a plan:
Tomorrow while Nora and I finish with patients and close the clinic, maybe the 2 of you could visit her and see that everything is in place with Hospice (I have the # for Vitas but don’t know what Social Worker and Nurse are assigned). I will plan to go on Friday and over the weekend. We need to visit whenever we can- she has begun to have increasing symptoms as the cancer spreads throughout her body. Two days ago, she began having severe pain in her right leg, a result of it spreading to the bones in that leg, and yesterday she began to have difficulty swallowing. So Min predicts that she has only a short time (when pushed for an estimate, she told me 4-6 weeks and maybe less). As the cancer progresses, Min says that she will decline rapidly so we need to schedule ourselves to go by any day we can. If we share and you take Thursday/Friday beginning next week, I’ll take the rest. It is a great comfort to both Maryam and Nabilah to have us so I think we must do whatever we can.
I’ll bring the phone numbers and address tomorrow and we’ll work out the details. Diane, Maryam loved the flowers that you brought and tells me often how much she loves us.
If either of you are praying people, now would be the time. My heart breaks for this family, scattered all over the world, who in the end don’t even have their Muslim brothers and sisters to support them. To my knowledge (and Min’s) there has only been one visitor from the mosque in Richardson and that was at least 2 weeks ago. Of course, we haven’t discussed the irony that this beautiful Muslim girl would die surrounded by a Jewish Dr., his Hindu Nurse, a fellow wounded soul from Burma and her Christian friends from Agape.
I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks for your help.  

Leslie

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We ought to lay down our lives for one another
Lay down our lives for one another
Lay down our lives
For one another