Sometime around 1982, when Leslie and I were working as volunteers in the Cambodian refugee neighborhood in Dallas, one of the families we were involved with asked us to look in on a new family. The new family lived in one of the one-bedroom upstairs corner apartments at 4400 San Jacinto. There was a mother and father and two children. They had almost nothing. The weather was cold and they had a couple of blankets and a few cooking things and a little rice. The father was sick. It was desperate.
We got them some blankets and warm clothes and food and medical care and so on. We started taking the father to Parkland Hospital, but his illness was not treatable and all they really did was track his last months. Maybe 6-12 months(?) later he was having a bad day and I took him to the Parkland ER. He was on a gurney in one of the ER halls. I had to leave for a while and when I came back a little while later he had passed.
Funeral ceremony for Tep Kim Suar in his family’s apartment at 4400 San Jacinto
When I called his completely uninvolved sponsor to get money for his funeral, the director said, “We can go maybe $200.” I didn’t give the appropriate response (…) and went and got the money. I recall that the city wanted his body to be taken away quickly, but we wouldn’t let them take him and there was a ceremony in the apartment with the body present. Neighbors and others got the money together for necessary services and he was buried or maybe cremated at Sparkman-Hillcrest.
His daughter, Sue did well in school and so did his son until he had a health event that left him severely impaired. His daughter met a young American man, Jimmie. He had come from a difficult background, but then so had she, in a different way. They married and as time passed, they each showed themselves to be people of great quality… true… decent… caring… and competent in their work and in their family. In time we saw less of one another.
In December 2015 I got a call from Jimmie. He wanted me to come talk with Keo, a Cambodian woman who had grown up with Sue and who had actually lived with Leslie and me for a few months when David was a baby. Keo was now in the hospital with advanced breast cancer. The idea was that I would convince her to have the cancer treated as one of the doctors involved in her care wanted. She wanted no part of it and the fact was, treatment was a very long shot with certain concomitant suffering.
I supported Keo in her wishes and Jimmie was graceful in accepting her decision. He and Sue were involved in Keo’s last days, as was I. When I gave the eulogy at Keo’s funeral I named Jimmie, Sue, and Sue’s Mom as true stalwarts in her last weeks.
About a year ago, Jimmie was diagnosed with a glioblastoma. Today, he passed away in the VITAS inpatient hospice unit. I think he was in his early 40s. Well done, good and faithful servant.
The old crew passing: Leslie, Sang Van, Khuon Voeuth, Keo, Phana, Jimmie.
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When you find out who you are
(From The Incredible String Band)
When you find out who you are
Beautiful beyond your dreams
Change the world by the things you say
By the things you Love
Oh how many shining hearts
With love have guided me
We used to speak of that ocean deep
How little words can say
It’s better now to ask your friend
What makes him sad today
Make your own dreams come true
Make it come true